


Scully's Reasons Why Not

by mldrgrl



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 07:49:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10239407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mldrgrl/pseuds/mldrgrl
Summary: For a tumblr challenge: "Lists"





	

Scully sat at the table in her kitchen, tapping the top of her pen against the blank yellow legal pad of paper in front of her.  She had sat down with a cup of tea, intending to prepare a list of pros and cons to the proposition Mulder had given her, but so far, the paper was still blank and the tea had gone cold and untouched.  She sighed and clicked on her pen, putting the ballpoint to the page.  Finally, she wrote a header.

 

 _Should_ ~~_Muld_~~ _we become lovers?_

 

Even writing it down made her cheeks burn.  She dropped the pen and got up from the table, swiping the tepid mug of tea up and taking it to the sink.  She ran cold water from the tap and wet her hands before bringing them up to her cheeks.  A dishrag lay crumbled on the counter and she took it up to dry her hands.

 

At the back of one of her cupboards was a bottle of whiskey.  She could never remember why it was there or who it belonged to, but it had been in her cupboard for years, nearly full and collecting dust.  There were no shot glasses on hand, so she poured an estimate of a shot into a mug and took that back to the table and sat back down.

 

She was only able to down about half the whiskey she poured, which was followed by a few moments of coughing and sputtering.  She wiped her watering eyes with the back of her hand and picked up the pen again.  Already, her limbs felt warm and loose.

 

 

  1. __I think it’s against the rules__
  2. ___They would use it against us___
  3. ___Would the work suffer?___
  4. ___Could he give me what I want?___
  5. ___What do I want?___
  6. ___We could hurt each other___
  7. ___We can not go back___



That was as far as she got before she put the pen down and licked her lips.  The taste of the whiskey was still sharp on her tongue.  She tapped her pen again until there was a knock on her door and her shoulders jerked in surprise.  It was after ten and she was in her pajamas and a robe, not dressed for visitors, but who else would knock on her door at ten o’clock on a Thursday night but Mulder?

 

Lethargically, Scully went to open the door.  Her senses were a bit dulled from the alcohol and her fingers slipped on the chain latch.

 

“Hey,” Mulder said, slipping past her once she’d gotten the door open.  He was still in the suit she’d left him in at the office, only his tie was loose and he had his hands shoved into the pockets of his trench coat.

 

“Hey,” Scully said, shuffling away from him to go back to the table.

 

“I thought we could talk.”

 

“It’s late.”

 

“I know it’s late, but I thought maybe our conversation got a little out of hand today at work and...we should talk.”

 

“You told me it was my decision to make,” she said, chair creaking as she sat down.  “That the ball was in my court.”

 

“I know,” he said, taking a seat across from her and taking his hands out of his pockets to fold them on the table.  “Maybe I was wrong.”

 

“About what?”

 

“About it being your decision alone.”  He glanced down at the legal pad on the table and Scully held her breath, but didn’t move.  Two fingers went to the top of the pad and he slid it closer to him and turned it around.  “Seems like I got here just in time.”

 

She didn’t say anything as she watched his eyes dart across the page.  He glanced up at her and then over at the mug.  She followed his gaze and licked the corner of her mouth as he picked up the mug and gave it a little sniff.

 

“Liquid courage?” he asked.

 

“You can have the rest,” she said.

 

“No, thanks.”  He put the mug back down and then picked up her pen.  “It’s not against the rules, by the way,” he said, drawing a line through number one on her list.  “Unless I was your superior.”

 

“How many times have you reminded me that you’re the head of the x-files division and I just work there?”

 

Mulder’s eyes went wide for a moment and his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed.  He took the mug back up and downed the rest of the whiskey with a slight hiss.

 

“You’re my partner,” he said, scratching another line across number one.  “End of story.”

 

“When it’s convenient,” she said, calmly lacing her fingers together in her lap.  She could feel a fight brewing, but Mulder was focusing all his attention on her list.

 

“They use us against each other all the time, Scully.  They already know I would go to the ends of the earth for you, I kind of literally, already did.  And you, you once willingly got yourself held in contempt of congress by refusing to give them my whereabouts.”

 

“I didn’t even know your whereabouts,” she argued.

 

“They didn’t know that.”  He crossed out number two as well.

 

“Are you going to do this for every item?”

 

“You bet.  Would the work suffer?  Is that a joke?”

 

“How do you know it wouldn’t?”

 

“Because, I know.  It never has before.”

 

“Hold on,” she said, reaching across the table and putting her hand over his as he went to cross it out.  “That’s not true, Mulder.”

 

“So, we’ve had a few rough patches.  We always get through it.”

 

“What if there’s more at stake?”

 

“Now you’re skipping ahead to number six.”

 

“So what if I am?  They don’t have to be mutually exclusive.  I mean it, Mulder.  If I disagree with you about one of your theories, what’s going to stop you from blaming it on a lover’s quarrel we had the night before?”

 

“What was the lover’s quarrel about?”

 

Scully took her hand from his wrist and sat back with a sigh.  “They’re legitimate concerns.  Don’t belittle them or dismiss them so easily.”

 

The pen hovered over the list in Mulder’s hand and then he set it down.  “What do you want?” he asked.  “What do you want that I might not be able to give you?  Because, I’ll tell you right now, I would give you anything.”

 

“Even time to figure it out?”

 

“If time is what you need.”

 

“It might be.”

 

“You know what I don’t see on this list?”

 

“What?”

 

“Whether or not you want me.”

 

“That’s not something I have to question.”

 

Mulder got up and went around the table to her side where he knelt down at the side of her chair.  She sighed as he turned her chair towards him and then put his hands on her knees.  He looked up at her with a puppy dog gaze until she sighed again and put her hands over his.

 

“I just think it’s time for us, Scully,” he said.  “I’ve been fighting it for so long and I don’t want to do it anymore.”

 

“And you know I have to think about everything.  It’s what I do.”

 

Mulder nodded and then he pulled one hand from hers and put it on the back of her neck.  He stretched his neck up and tipped his head while bringing her face closer to his.  

 

“Mulder,” she whispered.

 

“Shh,” he breathed against her mouth.  “I’m giving you something to think about.”

 

Her eyes drooped half-closed as his lips brushed hers.  She felt a rush of heat move up her body and a coil of desire move down through her abdomen.  A tiny whimper escaped from the back of her throat as he deepened the kiss and brought his arm around her waist.  She had just let her eyes fall completely shut when he pulled away, rubbing the back of her neck with his thumb as he moved back.

 

“Dammit, Mulder,” she whispered.

 

“Take all the time you need,” he said, slowly letting go of her and getting to his feet.  “See you tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He walked over to the door to let himself out while Scully sat quivering in her seat.  “Have fun with that list,” he said as he walked out the door.

 

She sat looking at the closed door for a long time before she turned back to table and pulled her list back from where Mulder had left it.  She picked up the pen and licked her lips.  The taste of whiskey from Mulder’s tongue was in her mouth.

 

  1. _Resistance is futile_



 

The End


End file.
